The Witches

I felt a slight BUMP.

‘In you go!’ my grandmother was shouting.

I jumped out of the sock and ran into The Grand High Witch’s bedroom. There was the same musty smell about the place that I had noticed in the Ballroom. It was the stench of witches. It reminded me of the smell inside the men’s public lavatory at our local railway station.

As far as I could see, the room was tidy enough. There was no sign anywhere that it was inhabited by anyone but an ordinary person. But then there wouldn’t be, would there? No witch would be stupid enough to leave anything suspicious lying around for the hotel maid to see.

Suddenly I saw a frog JUMPING across the carpet and disappearing under the bed. I jumped myself.

‘HURRY UP!’ came my grandmother’s voice from somewhere high up outside. ‘Grab the stuff and GET OUT!’

I started skittering round and trying to search the room. This wasn’t so easy. I couldn’t, for example, open any of the drawers. I couldn’t open the doors of the big wardrobe, either. I stopped skittering about. I sat in the middle of the floor and had a think. If The Grand High Witch wanted to hide something top secret, where would she put it? Certainly not in any ordinary drawer. Not in the wardrobe, either. It was too obvious. I jumped up on to the bed to get a better view of the room. Hey, I thought, what about under the mattress? Very carefully, I lowered myself over the edge of the bed and wormed my way underneath the mattress. I had to push forward hard to make any headway, but I kept at it. I couldn’t see a thing.

I was scrabbling about under the mattress when my head suddenly bumped against something hard inside the mattress above me. I reached up and felt it with my paw. Could it be a little bottle? It was a little bottle!

And right alongside it, I felt another hard lump, and another and another. The Grand High Witch must have slit open the mattress and put all the bottles inside and then sewn it all up again. I began tearing away frantically at the mattress cloth above my head with my teeth. My front teeth were extremely SHARP and it didn’t take me long to make a small hole. I climbed into the hole and grabbed a bottle by the neck. I pushed it down through the hole in the mattress and climbed out after it.

Walking backwards and dragging the bottle behind me, I managed to reach the edge of the mattress. I rolled the bottle off the bed on to the carpet. It bounced but it didn’t break. I jumped down off the bed. I examined the little bottle. It was identical to the one The Grand High Witch had had in the Ballroom. There was a label on this one. FORMULA 86, it said. DELAYED ACTION MOUSE-MAKER. Then it said, This bottle contains five hundred doses.

I felt tremendously pleased with myself.

Three frogs came hopping out from under the bed. They crouched on the carpet, staring at me with large black eyes. I stared back at them. Those huge eyes were the saddest things I had ever seen. It suddenly occurred to me that almost certainly once upon a time they had been children, those frogs, before The Grand High Witch had got hold of them. I stood there clutching the bottle and staring at the frogs. ‘Who are you?’ I asked them.

At that exact moment, I heard a key turning in the lock of the door and the door burst open and The Grand High Witch swept into the room. The frogs jumped underneath the bed again in one quick hop. I darted after them, still clutching the bottle, and I ran back against the wall and squeezed in behind one of the bedposts. I heard feet walking on the carpet. I peeped round the bedpost. The three frogs were clustered together under the middle of the bed. Frogs cannot hide like mice. They cannot run like mice, either. All they can do, poor things, is to hop about rather clumsily.

Suddenly The Grand High Witch’s face came into view, peering under the bed. I popped my head back behind the bedpost. ‘So there you are, my little frrroggies,’ I heard her saying. ‘You can stay vhere you are until I go to bed tonight, then I shall thrrrow you out of the vindow and the seagulls can have you for supper.’

Suddenly very loud and clear there came the sound of my grandmother’s voice through the open balcony door. ‘Hurry up, my darling!’ it shouted. ‘Do hurry up! You’d better come out quickly!’

‘Who is calling?’ snapped The Grand High Witch. I peeped round the bedpost again and saw her walking across the carpet to the balcony door. ‘Who is this on my balcony?’ she muttered. ‘Who is it? Who dares to trrrespass on my balcony?’ She went through the door on to the balcony itself.

‘Vot is this knitting-vool hanging down here?’ I heard her saying.

‘Oh, hello,’ came my grandmother’s voice. ‘I just dropped my knitting over the balcony by mistake. But it’s all right. I’ve got hold of one end of it. I can pull it up by myself, thank you all the same.’ I marvelled at the coolness of her voice.

‘Who vur you talking to just now?’ snapped The Grand High Witch. ‘Who vur you telling to hurry up and come out qvickly?’

‘I was talking to my little grandson,’ I heard my grandmother saying. ‘He’s been in the bathroom for hours and it’s time he came out. He sits in there reading books and he forgets completely where he is! Do you have any children, my dear?’

‘I  DO   NOT!’ shouted The Grand High Witch, and she came quickly back into the bedroom,

SLAMMING

THE BALCONY DOOR BEHIND HER.

I was cooked. My escape route was closed. I was shut up in the room with The Grand High Witch and three terrified frogs. I was just as terrified as the frogs. I was quite sure that if I was spotted, I would be caught and thrown out over the balcony for the seagulls.

There came a knock on the bedroom door. ‘Vot is it this time?’ shouted The Grand High Witch.

‘It is we ancient ones,’ said a meek voice from behind the door. ‘It is six o’clock and we have come to collect the bottles that you promised us, O Your Grandness.’

I saw her crossing the carpet towards the door. The door was opened and then I saw a whole lot of feet and shoes beginning to enter the room. They were coming in slowly and hesitantly, as though the owners of those shoes were frightened of entering. ‘Come in! Come in!’ snapped The Grand High Witch. ‘Do not stand out there dithering in the corrri-dor! I don’t have all night!’

I saw my chance. I jumped out from behind the bedpost and ran like lightning towards the open door. I jumped over several pairs of shoes on the way and in three seconds I was out in the corridor, still clutching the precious bottle to my chest. No one had seen me. There were no shouts of Mouse! Mouse! All I could hear were the voices of the ancient witches burbling their silly sentences about ‘How kind Your Grandness is’ and all the rest of it. I went scampering down the corridor to the stairs and up one flight. I went to the fifth floor and then along the corridor again until I came to the door of my own bedroom. Thank goodness there was no one in sight. Using the bottom of the little bottle, I began tap-tap-tapping on the door. TAP TAP TAP TAP, I went. TAP TAP TAP … TAP TAP TAP … Would my grandmother hear me? I thought that she must. The bottle made quite a loud tap each time it struck. TAP TAP TAP … TAP TAP TAP … Just so long as nobody came along the corridor.

But the door didn’t open. I decided to take a risk. ‘Grandmamma!’ I shouted as loudly as I possibly could. ‘Grandmamma! It’s me! Let me in!’

I heard her feet coming across the carpet and the door opened. I went in like an arrow. ‘I’ve done it!’ I cried, jumping up and down. ‘I’ve got it, Grandmamma! Look, here it is! I’ve got a whole bottle of it!’

She closed the door. She bent down and picked me up and hugged me. ‘Oh, my darling!’ she cried. ‘Thank heavens you’re safe!’ She took the little bottle from me and read the label aloud. ‘“Formula 86 Delayed Action Mouse-Maker!”’ she read. ‘“This bottle contains five hundred doses!” You brilliant darling boy! You’re a wonder! You’re a marvel! How on earth did you get out of her room?’

‘I nipped out when the ancient witches were coming in,’ I told her. ‘It was all a bit hairy, Grandmamma. I wouldn’t want to do it again.’

‘I saw her too!’ my grandmother said.

‘I know you did, Grandmamma. I heard you talking to each other. Didn’t you think she was absolutely foul?’

‘She’s a murderer,’ my grandmother said. ‘She’s the most EVIL WOMAN in the entire world!’

‘Did you see her mask?’ I asked.

‘It’s amazing,’ my grandmother said. ‘It looks just like a real face. Even though I knew it was a mask, I still couldn’t tell. Oh, my darling!’ she cried, giving me a hug. ‘I thought I’d never see you again! I’m so happy you got away!’